Friday Diary: Lady Bits

Last night’s gaming proved to be very much an archetype of 5punky gaming; fraught with disaster and conversations for which I daren’t google a title image. We had a good showing though, and while the gaming produced nothing particularly groundbreaking it gives me an excuse to set the background noise level from which the other shenanigans that appear here can be based.

I need to think about what I'll have to google before I come up with a title.

I really should think about what I’ll have to google before I come up with a title.

Grimmie struck upon the idea last week of playing Path of Exile, a free ARPG in the Diablo vein. Since nobody had it it was deferred to this week, and people were prompted by the friday gaming thread to go and download it in advance. This went well for half an hour or so. Myself and Mr Johnson were the early attenders, discussing fat PE teachers among other things (I like to think it’s a move to bring down the institution of physical self loathing from the inside). Others trickled in and we started to accumulate enough momentum to have a handful in the game milling around with no real purpose other than to create a huge jumble sale of gear on the ground. A few more arrived who had, for various reasons, not had chance to download, so they set it off. Unfortunately for the game our popularity was its ultimate downfall, as it has a maximum of six players and we soon overcame that limit. So while some continued their downloads we canned it (hopefully for tonight) and had a blast on Chivalry for a bit while we tried to think of a better idea.

Alas, our favourite low gravity server seems to have vanished. We found a replacement, but the leaps weren’t as high and the chaos wasn’t as chaotic. What we did find was that it seemed to attract some rather amusing randoms. I don’t think a lot of people have played low-G Chiv before, because a number of them remarked on how bonkers it all was, but those who stayed were certainly in the same mindset as us. At one point Mr Johnson was being romanced by a self proclaimed computer nerd, and another random was trying to convince others on the server that we were in a Matrix-esque simulation where the game was the reality of a war between heaven and earth. We just screamed a lot.

There's something familiar about that rock.

There’s something familiar about that rock.

One can only take so much low-G medieval combat before it becomes overwhelming, and in our failure to come up with a nine-player alternative we defaulted to Dota 2. A fairly well balanced couple of 5punky random bot games were had first. This is noteworthy actually, as there were no players who didn’t seem to be able to hold their own amongst us. Usually if there are newer or less frequent players they can struggle a bit, but both games were good, close matches. Indeed, one came down to a race to see who could bring down the other’s ancient first, which was won by mere seconds. Of course some got on better with their characters than others. Such is the way of Dota 2 (and so begins my sermon for this afternoon). I might have mentioned it before, but there’s a character for everyone and everyone prefers a different style. It’s very much a game of individuals, but requires close teamwork to be successful. Such as it was with our final game, five of us vs a team of medium bots. I remember a time not too long ago when a full team of 5punkers would have to play hard to beat a team of easy bots, but last night we held our own strategically, if not tactically. Once we can naturally fall into close support of each other in teamfights I think we could probably start winning our public games. It’s not something we’ll force though.

I’ve neglected the meaning of this week’s title haven’t I? The comedy highlight came during the random Dota games when Pnut was getting bored of a character with whom he wasn’t getting on. I forget what the specifics of his musings were, but he commented on Shot2Bits’s girlfriend who had been heard in the background for most of the night exclaiming at her own game of League of Legends. Pnut referred to her in the less common derivative moniker of Lady (as opposed to Mrs or Wifey – no offence intended, simply a way of identifying the other half of a 5punker when she doesn’t yet have a 5punky name of her own). And so Lady Bits was christened, breaking most of the people on Teamspeak in the process. Incidentally, we also found Lady Joose to be a similarly amusing partner name (although I believe she’s already claimed her 5punky name on the forums as Dr Becky).

Ursa loves cuddles.

Ursa loves cuddles.

Finally, and to tie up the 5punky baseline theme, we had a godlike punning spree. Punning is a fine art among 5punkers, to be aspired to, the worse the better. Last night’s was about bears – an easy target, I have to admit – and prompted a long stream of groans and embarrassed chuckles. “I can’t bear these puns,” “I’m getting claws to my limit now,” and so on. Please add your own bear puns in the comments below (and punish Joose for being so good as Ursa last night).

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